"I had made myself a self-taught generalist"

 

Other Inner Voices

 

After my experiences with my "thinking mind's voice". I decided to see what about other voices I could give my different functions.

 

I tried now to see if my thinking voice could bring back memories that I would like to see what happened just by asking. My mind voice replied I can’t do that; I’ll have to get you in touch with your memory manager. “My what? OK”. Within a second another voice came back to me “Yes, you have a memory you would like to revisit?  I said, “Wait a minute, you’re a female and you are my memory manager?” She replied “Yes, do you have a problem with that?” I said no but I have a lot of memories of many different relationships with woman. Will you be able to help me if you don’t like what happened?”

 

 “No problem, as one of your voices, I cannot be judgmental. I think I might even be able to help you understand what happened better.”

 

So I asked her if she could bring me back to some early memories. She said sure, what memories do you want. So I selected one of the hardest times in my life, when my wife said she had found another man and wanted a divorce. I closed my eyes and I had the feeling of transforming back into the memory. It was not just seeing the memory; I was there, sitting on the sofa. I could tell I was there when I reached out and touched that sofa, tell the colors, and feel the cushions. I could feel myself ask my wife the question and even feel that I knew the answer before she spoke; then she told me. I realized then, there was a three or four second unspoken silence. I also knew that that moment would change my life.

 

The memory stopped and I was back here in my bed. As I thought about that 3-4 second delay, I realized that I had another option; I could have said “Oh OK, Come on to bed and show me everything you learned.” I then realized I could have done as many men have done, leave, divorce, and find another woman to take her place. I didn’t, I mentally crashed and it took me a long time to get it back together. I now celebrate that day, because it was the beginning of my own life. I am still learning and loving every minute of it.

 

When I was talking to my older sister, I found out that my mother had done the same thing when my father was in India during the Second World War. When he got home and she told him; he also took it hard. He had a third way of dealing with it; every day when he came home from work, he took my mother’s hand and led her to the bedroom saying, “If it’s a love you want, I’m here.” I think he missed the point, as did I.

What I had missed  was as the consoler said to my first wife and I “Look at your parents and see what characteristics have learned from your parents”. As I learned from my later experiences with women, that almost everything we learned was from our parents, not only what they said but also their attitude toward sex and the opposite gender. Sexuality was a natural thing no matter what morality you learned about it yet many people who associate it with pleasure, have a big problem.

 

All this from one memory.

 

I then started giving voices to my other functions:  my body, my breathing, my neck, my stomach ....

As I collected several more voices and meeting each one, we all sort of agreed that we were all working for the same goal. I (Wayne) was the entity that made the decisions and direction we would take. I had free will to choose the path we would pursue. Every voice had equal say and time it needed to present its view. We were to work as a synergetic unit. It took a little while for my mind to let go of control, relax, and become part of the group but when it did, a beautiful experience of oneness came over the discussion and we could look at the problem from many different perspectives.

 

 However, as with many other inward thinking process; I realized that I only have to be aware of conversations and whom I was talking, not actually use internal voices. I then became of aware of another part, but the voice wasn’t audible but was just as real anyway. Not knowing what to do, I just accepted it was an energy force field around me which I am, right now calling it, “My soul” since I am not able to get any answers from it when I ask “What happens after death?”

 

I have learned to enjoy the incredible experience of the synergy of all my human functions, working in harmony and respect, can lead to a fascinating understanding of life. So I decided to ask each function

 “Are you enjoying our life?” and what are your strengths and weaknesses.

To see if we could improve each individual functions experience, thus adding to our synergy. The list is by frequency of my interactions with each.

 

Their answers:

Thinker - my conscious mind – I love it more and more each day as we discover new ways of working together; I love being involved in life. I have many dimensions and levels of awareness and can often be confused when I am used incorrectly. My physical energy and transmission of control is very complicated and is why our synergetic working is so very important.

Limits: I can be circular or progressive/creative. Thinking is greatly influenced by blocks caused by previous labels or judgmental actions, or compartmentalized associations. I am also affected by the body emotions or condition. A relaxed body allows better flow of conscious energy and makes me function more efficiently

 My Memory Manager – I have enjoyed our group, especially since we have clarified different procedures for storing and retrieving memories so important for learning. There is still a lot to learn so we that understand the value of memories we have stored.

Limits: Many experiences and forms of learning have overlapping information which takes the creative memory collection time to gather and evaluate data that might be hidden.

My Body – Just trying to make it through life. There are beautiful moments but the necessity of living life is a fulltime job; no retirement. I am glad that you gave me a voice because there are times when stress form a knot in my mussels and I need to have attention. A good massage, a hot bath or shower, or relaxed deep breathing real helps me stay lose and perform my functions.  It also helps when we have our group conversations so that which ever function has the stress, we all can see what the cause is and do something to relieve it. It is important to have a regular exercising program that strengthen my mussels as well as my communications with other mental activities.

Limits: I change with age and experiences and we all need to make adjustments. I have limited function time and need to rest while other functions continue. I am also affected by disease and physical defects which means others need to take over some of my functions. I am controlled mostly by subconscious programming which may be difficulty to change. Many of these programs were started before birth and were vital to my life and only certain elements may be changed; ie breathing can be controlled by the conscious mine as well as the normal basic subconscious mind, or a combination.

 Neck - Some times It is difficult being the go-through route between the body and the mind. When we work out differences and the energy flows through freely, it is a pleasant feeling and I enjoy being aware of what is going on.

Limits: I am sensitive to many changes in temperature and small illnesses in either the head or body. I feel the pain and tension when there is a disagreement between the lower body and the mind.

 

Observer (also called awareness) – It’s cool not having to be creative, judgmental, or active; just being there to see what’s happening. I am always there, even in sleep waiting for an interrupt that needs to be attended.

Limits: many conscious mental processes may block my job for I am basically an interrupt handler. When consciously activated. It can be a nonjudgmental awareness of other mental process as well as other external sense input. I cannot be measured so do not enter into most specialist studies.

 

Soul – I am non-verbal communications energy. I only absorb experiential information and can communicate with the synergetic human through “I”.

Limits: There is little known of me and what my real function is. Maybe later in life or after death.

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